Creative Writing Goals
1. better description
2. good sentences beginning
3. less errors
2. good sentences beginning
3. less errors
Monday, February 1, 2010
The 9th hole
Matt and Parker both scored three’s on the horrifying and dreadful 9th hole. Adrenalin in my blood is going crazy as I get ready for the most meanigful putt of my life. Calming down is impossible with when my hands are filled with pools of sweat and there is an annoying buzzing noise going on in my head. To hear the annoying buzzing sound in one’s head might dismantle ones concentrations, but I am in a zone that is beyond everyone else. Not even the smell of the overly cooked hotdogs in the old run down club house can break through my focus; the smell leaves a stinging feeling in my nostrils as if passes through. My putter is slowly creeping its way towards the bright florescent pink ball with a white chip from dropping it on the pavement. Rolling slower and slower the ball inches it’s way to the hypnotizing hole with a half inch of water in it from the night showers. Worries flood my skull as I dreadfully picture the ball stopping millimeters short of the hole. I close my eyes so I don’t have to bear the sight; I hear a “Clunk”. When I raise my head cautiously the ball in no longer on the green turf, but silently sitting at its perch inside the hideous hole! The hot dogs in the club house are now the smell of victory and I can now taste the scrumptious ice cream that I am going to receive because of my victory. To see Matt and Parker weeping in disgust on the ground is priceless. Right now I feel like I can take on the world without thinking about it twice. The only aspect that Matt and Parker can take out of this is to never, never underestimate your opponents. Although I can take out bragging right and to never second guess what I can do.
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I can't say enough about the beautiful and vivid decriptions you've used. You've captured every piece of this mooment, from the "annoying buzzing sound" in your head to the smell of the hot dogs and how that smell changes pre- and post-victory. Very impressive!
ReplyDeleteNice short story. Phenominal word choice, as well as great voice. Also you did a great job of imagining that and the detail was very nice. Good Job. Maybe next time you could try making that longer, otherwise nice story.
ReplyDeleteNice job as I was reading I could really hear your voice reading this to me great job.
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